Thursday, September 16, 2010

I bet my Bare Feet can Outmatch Yours! Step up to the Challenge!

Konbanwa Aspierations Tomodachi!

Hope all is going well in your part of the world!  It's been pretty hectic around here but that's the norm and I'm not complaining.  Of course I do have one subject you have been fortunate enough to happen upon and hear me rant about.  Don't worry about the tone.  It's not angry. Grouchy maybe but not angry.  But hey, girls can be cute when they're grouchy and it's all in good humor to me.  (Well, I take that back. It is CERTAINLY not in good humor at the time.... but I can laugh about it now because happy endorphins feel a lot better than tears. Maybe that's why I enjoy laughing so much.)

I've stepped on my share of Legos and certainly my share of Hot Wheels.  In fact, I would claim that I have probably stepped on your share too.  Not that I'm bragging or anything... I'm just talented that way.  You can thank me later because those little suckers HURT!

If there is one sharp cornered lego or upside down car on the floor or under a mat at 3 in the morning and I'm walking barefoot in the dark, I can almost GUARANTEE you that one of my precious bare feet will hone right in on the offending obstacle.  It's a gift, I tell you.  America's Got Talent and so do I.

Yes, folks, it takes a certain level of talent and finesse to be athletic and clumsy at the same time.  I have really great hand-eye coordination but apparently my foot-eye coordination leaves a lot to be desired. Ironically, I love to dance.  Perhaps there is something to the fact that I seem to be more coordinated with my dancing than my walking.

If you're speculating why on Pluto this is my blog topic of the evening it is because I recently outdid myself by stepping on a small round orange pencil sharpener kinda thing. Not only did I puncture the bottom of my foot and acquire a new bruise but in the process did a mini bonus twist of my ankle. Can we give three cheers for school supplies?  RAH RAH RAH....   

Yeah, I'm grouching about it and if I had my digital camera handy, I'd take a picture of both the bruise and the offending item.  Then I would put a picture of the sharpener on the wall and throw darts at it.  Actually, I wouldn't because there is no WAY darts are hanging out in this house.  Just think of the possibilities.

By the way, if you're asking yourself why we don't have an electric pencil sharpener, you are a sharp one! Unfortunately, our electric pencil sharpener recently became victim to our little guy Ry wanting to sharpen his crayons.  Can't blame him for the logic but I bet you can guess how getting crayon stuck in an electric sharpener turned out.  Those mechanically inclined, if you have ideas for said orange crayon removal, please feel free to post in the comments section.

In lieu of a quick trip to replace the electric pencil sharpener, we thought a little manual one would do okay for a couple days.  Left foot meet sharpener!   Does it make me feel better that we got it on sale for .69?  No, not really.  

Now I know I can't be the only adult out there that has an affinity for stepping on children's toys and subsequently biting the dust.

My questions of the day to you are... which of the following have you ever stepped on barefoot and what would you say has been the most irritating, disgusting or painful?  We can both grouch and commiserate about it together.  :-)

C'mon, I know you've stepped on at least one of these!!  (And if you haven't, I WANT to know your secret!)

A) Legos
B) Hot Wheels or Matchbox cars
C) A round orange pencil sharpener (probably won't garner many votes but it's currently on my hit list so why not?)
D) A soggy wet diaper that didn't quite make it's way to the diaper pail.
E) A stinky diaper that didn't quite make it's way to the diaper pail.  (Okay, I've done D but not E but somehow, it just seemed a shame not to include.)
F) Tinker Toys
G) Blocks
H) An inconspicuous opened tube of "Butt Paste" (that's the name, no kidding) 

Granted... all this stuff is "inconspicuous" to me before I step on it...

I) Ice Cubes - apparently the boys never seem to quite realize when these end up on the floor after using the ice maker button on the frig.  
J) Push pins (for a bulletin board)
K) Mushy food objects... (oh yuck, I'm grossing myself out reliving this one and yet I thought E was hilarious... so socially inappropriate.)
L) Paperback books (these can get a good slide if you step on them just right)
M) Someone's shoe (are you beginning to wonder if I'm accident-prone? Yeah... ask me how many twisted ankles I have had in my life.)
N) The corner of a desk -- I suppose this doesn't count as stepping on.  I just threw it in there because my pinky toes meet the corner of my desk at least once a month.  Generally $1 in the swear jar follows. (Okay $5...)
O) Rubber balls ... you know the kind that bounce but of course when you step on them, you're not feeling so bouncy..
P) Jacks (not the ones that hang out with Jill)

Q) Of course Q has to have the Question choice, so this is your opportunity to enter your favorite foot opponent here!

Are my bare feet talented enough with their built in GPS system to outwit, outplay and outlast yours?  Will you be the SOLE Survivor?  Step up to the challenge, Aspierations friends.  Play footsie with me.  At the very least get me a foot massage.  I could use one right now!  Come to think of it, a shoulder massage would work too.  Now I'm just getting greedy!

Good day, Good Afternoon, Good Night!


  1. Ouch just thinking about this! I've done A, B, F, G, I and K. K was a banana, gross.

    The most painful has been little toy animals. We have a zoo set and a farm set. That bleeping rooster gets me every time. I'm not too fond of the giraffe either.

  2. LOL at the SOLE Survivor comment. What is it with those LEGOS. Around here it is army men that get me.

  3. OK, this is my list. We do live in the same house and I have three to contend with.

    A, B, D, D (sorry to say), H, I, L, M, O

    What really stinks is when the above objects are under something like a play rug and you have no warning even after doing a visual.

  4. PRONGS on a power cord!