Monday, July 12, 2010

The Closer is Back but.... Can Kyra close more cases than Karen ??

Hello my Aspierations Visitors, Loyal Returnees and Friends!

One of the things I do at the end of most late nights is watch TV in bed.  It helps me unwind and end my day, especially on those nights I just can't fall asleep. (Lots of adults and children on the autism spectrum have sleep issues and our family is not an exception.)

I suppose on nights it is hard to fall asleep, I should rethink some of the shows I watch right before I try to snooze.  "Criminal Minds", "Fringe", "Lie To Me", "Midsomer Murders", "LOST", "NCIS", CSI New York ... see a pattern forming? (I see dead people...)

I do like picking shows that are involved with Crime or Sci Fi but that also have strong or quirky character relationships, character development or humor.  Some of my "lighter" recent favorites (on/off the air) in the genre are "The Closer", "Psych", "Monk", "The Mentalist" and "Castle".

Tonight "The Closer" starts a new season and I'm sure that Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson will do an awesome job. She's one of my favorite female characters on TV and I absolutely love the cast dynamic and chemistry.  I've also noticed that if I use Brenda's cute accent in stores to say, "why, thank you", I get warmer smiles in response and better service too!  (Try it, you'll see!!)

Now with no disrespect to Brenda Leigh and "The Closer" and her amazing track record, I was thinking tonight that perhaps there should be a spin-off show called, "The Closer - Vancouver" (I take my spin-off name originality from shows like CSI, NCIS and Law & Order. It works for them, why not me?)

In "The Closer - Vancouver", there would star a 42 year old detective savant named Karen Lee (Yes, Lee is my middle name, just like Brenda's!)  She is a passionate business owner, dedicated wife and Mommy extraordinaire of 2 amazing, lovable and unintentionally mischievous boys.  Coincidentally she would be 5'10" with reddish auburn hair and brown eyes and she would give "The Closer" a real run for her money!  To start with, she would solve and close all sorts of intriguing mysteries and important household crimes such as:

1) Who on earth stole all the matching socks?  (And where did they go?)

2) How can we catch the bare-bottom bandit who keeps streaking through our home?

3) Who keeps leaving the toilet seat up and forgetting to get a new roll of toilet paper?

4) Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? (Any good day camper should know the answer to that riddle?)

5) Why is my bologna's first name spelled O-S-C-A-R?  (I thought it was some sort of a grouch in a can.)

6) What fringe science phenomenon causes water and ice to mysteriously spill itself in random places around our home?

7) Who keeps sticking sharp cornered legos or hotwheels cars underneath the play rugs so that Mom or Dad is guaranteed to step on them at 3:00 a.m.?

8) Who keeps putting the potato chip bag back into the pantry empty?

9) With the empty bag of Cheetos beside it?

10) How come there are 8 remotes scattered throughout the house and none of them EVER seem to be the right one?  (Universal remote, my booty!)

11) What conniving culprit keeps leaving the door and windows open long enough to let in all the mystery bugs? (You know... the ones that randomly buzz near your face, freak you out by showing up on the wall next to your pillow and think you are a tasty midnight snack or cool summer cocktail?)

and finally...

12) What in the world is that mystery smell?  You know the one I'm talking about...

Have any more suggestions to add?  It's not exactly household homicide but I see a market for this type of crime-busting, don't you?  I have dozens of Mommy mysteries to share but want to make sure to save some classics for follow-up seasons!

I'm certain with audience participation, voting and suggestions, we could come up with a pilot and 22 episodes in very little time.  (I mean with some of the inane sitcoms that are on nowadays, I think this could work, folks, don't you?  Get out your phones and get ready to dial or text in... we'll be showing that 1-800 number for you soon!)

Just think, Hollywood producers, this Mom of 2, wife of 1, business seller to thousands is a Nancy Drew, Laura Holt, Jessica Fletcher, Stephanie Plum, Olivia Benson, Jennifer Hart, Miss Marple, Charlie's Angels, She Spies gals and Brenda Lee Johnson in the making! I'm not quite sure what that would look like but hey, what a kick-ass combination!

Thought I'd keep it light tonight!  It was quite the day and when you have "one of those" where behind every meltdown is a friend to keep it company, humor is oftentimes the very best medicine!

So on that note... let me know...
What crimes can I solve for you today?

Your partner in crime (or is that crime-stopping?)


  1. So funny! I think this could be a winner, Detective Karen Lee!

  2. Loved this Blog it was so funny!

    I want to know the following:

    1) Where are my Keys?

    2) Which leftover is which? Are they still safe to eat?

    3) Which one of the kids is having the melt down now? O, wait that was me this time. Nevermind.

    I have more to Laura the Closer Marple.

    Love the Blog.

  3. Hi!
    Thanks for the comments! Not sure if both posters are the same since the time posting was the same but I appreciate the support!

    @anonymous (2) - The Keys... a very good mystery indeed. In fact, if they have fallen into my purse, I am convinced there is a black hole somewhere at the bottom they fall out of!

    - Your #2 was too much of a YUCK visual for me. Of course it does tie into my "What's that Mystery Smell?" Thank goodness you didn't say anything with the word "mold" in it.

    - Your #3, LOL! I have come to embrace the fact that I have meltdowns too. As long as I can time them away from when the kids (and husband) are having theirs, all is copasetic!