Good evening, Aspierations friends!
Tonight I am starting my daily blog at 10:40 p.m. I am making a conscious effort to not procrastinate until the end of the day. Yes, I realize that 10:40 p.m. is pretty darn close to the end of the day but if you check the timestamp on many of my entries this month, they're often between 11:45 - 11:58 p.m. Starting before 11:00 p.m. is a marked improvement and I'll take every little victory I can!
Speaking of victories, I recently went through a really big scare. On Sunday evening I was sitting at my desk working and Justin was sitting across from me asking for my advice in a task he was working on. Suddenly, I looked down at my left hand and saw that the diamond was missing from its setting in center of my wedding ring. Immediate panic ensued!
John and I have been married 17 years. On July 18th, it will be 18 and there's something cool about 18 years on the 18th. The thought that my special wedding ring was missing its diamond was just horrible. I don't wear a lot of jewelry or rings but this ring is so symbolic to me. Just looking at it reminds me of the first time that John and I met, a subject I blogged about on April 10th: "A Look Back In Time - 19 Years Ago Today, My First Date with John". It reminds me of the day he proposed and the day we got married. It reminds me of our first anniversary and it reminds me of the commitment and love that we share. It reminds me of our wedding vows.
You can imagine then that I was horror-struck that this ring was now without its diamond. I immediately told Justin and John what happened and being the supportive sweethearts they are, they immediately went to work looking around for where the diamond might be.
Of course John's first question was, "when do you remember seeing it last", followed up by "was it today, was it yesterday, was it last week"? I'm not sure if he asked the last part but it felt like it. What I heard in my head felt like, "WHAT!!!!??? You lost the diamond in your ring?? How COULD YOU be so careless and not notice??"
I'm really good at beating myself up for things... I don't think anything John could have actually said would have been worse than what I was telling myself at that moment. The good news is that I knew it couldn't have been long since the diamond was lost and it had to be in the house because I look down at my ring and turn it at least a dozen times a day. It's a part of me. I'm not a materialistic girly girl kind of gal. I don't have lots of jewelry, shoes and purses. The jewelry I do have for the most part is very special and almost all of it was purchased for me by John. I might not be able to tell you where I put my keys or sunglasses but I can tell you that I wouldn't go very long without noticing the diamond in my ring was missing.
I quickly looked around my desk wondering if I had banged my hand on something. (I am fairly athletic and yet I have always had a tendency to be clumsy and bang into inanimate objects. How I ever did so well in bowling is beyond me!) My kiddos both have Sensory Processing Disorder along with their autism / Asperger's and I'm sure I do too.
Anyway, I didn't see the diamond near the desk so I immediately went downstairs to the living room where I had recently played a little Mario Kart Coin Runners with Ryan. Although it is a game where you can sit and play, we both tend to get a bit animated and silly. It's fun to act like a 3 year old sometimes! The GOOD news is that on the floor upside down near the sofa was the diamond to my ring. What a relief!!! In retrospect, I'm lucky Ryan didn't find it and put it in his mouth. Seriously...
I look at myself, my sons and even John sometimes as diamonds in the rough, polished jewels in the making. If you've ever seen naturally occurring diamonds, they often seem quite ordinary at first glance. Their real and true beauty is realized through the cutting, polishing and finishing process. Of course my boys and husband are truly real gems to me, much more priceless than diamonds. We each have our own potential, our own calling, our own destiny to fulfill.
Through my family, my blogging and my self-reflections and revelations here at Aspierations, I am starting to move through the rough and come into my own. Just as the diamond for my ring was lost and then found, I am learning to find myself as well.
Today we took my ring to the jeweler for the diamond to be reset in its setting. My finger feels bare without it. I joked with John that I now have a few days I can be single again but the truth is that I am so happy and lucky to be married to my best friend. We have our moments for sure; with so much passion and emotion in our house on a regular basis, it's easy to get caught up in the drama whirlwind. When it really counts though, I know that John is there for me and I am there for him and even though I don't have my ring on my finger tonight, we are partners.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! Tomorrow will be April 30th and will complete my goal of writing a new blog entry for every day of Autism Awareness month. HOORAY! I'll try my best to make it a special one and invite you to come "read" me again!
Smiles and best wishes,